Catch you later Health -Hungary, here I come!

My status is as follows: My temperature has dropped more than half a degree (from 36.5 to 36) since my first month on RRARF. This is morning readings. Later on is a different story, since it drops further, during the day/evening. Cold hands and feet. Yesterday I wrapped my feet in a blanket, in an attempt  to defrost the two giant ice cubes there were attached to them. NO luck what so ever.
I have gained more weight, since I was sick for a little week. I still have no desire to exercise. I'm actually pretty lethargic in general.
I've been studying my old lab results again and researching a whole lot. I'm thinking it might not be a thyroid problem but a pituitary problem. The last doctor I went to, suggested this as well. I'm thinking I have way to many hormonal issues for this to only be a thyroid issue. But then again, everything depends on proper thyroid function, just like everything depends on a healthy pituitary. Again, everything seems to come down to the chicken or egg question..
On a good note, I am leaving for Hungary tomorrow! My moms boyfriend owns a house there and the family is going for a 4 day trip. It's my first time there so it should be exiting. I am going to taste raw grass fed cow milk, while I am there -looking forward to that. I wish I could bring some home with me because it is impossible to get where I live.
 

Huston -we have a fever!

I am finally (almost) over my sickness, I "only" have this nasty sinus infection left, which makes every cough a living nightmare of drumming headache. My mom is now treating it with her laser gun (don't even ask but it has said to cure a sinus headache so I am willing to give it a try)! besides that, I have been lying on a magnetic madras (it's meant for increasing blood flow and relaxation). In my case it shows my body is very stressed so it should be interesting to see if my state improves. My mom is very much into all that and all though I have been very skeptical, I am at this point willing to try everything (within sanity) to help me on my healing journey.
Another peculiar thing has happened. I have had an above normal temperature which I recall is referred to as "having a temperature"! I haven't had a temperature while being sick, since early childhood! At one point it reached 37,7 (still with cold hands and feet though)
While I was sick, I didn't have much of an appetite, which is also something that is new to me! I'm normally more hungry when sick. The result of that of course, was that I ate less. I now pay for that. Today I woke up with a temperature reading of 35,6! Great, back from where I started :-/
I am a bit in two minds with this, on one hand, I want to listen to my body, eat when it wants and back off when it ask for that too, but if it is at the cost of my precious temperature, I am not sure how to go about this..
Maybe I need to force down more calories but then I wont really be listening to my body?

Sick weekend!

Great! It's the weekend and I am celebrating by being sick! I started getting a throat yesterday and today is not any better. I've had a lot of "trouble" with my neck, while on RARRF/HED. I can't help from thinking if it has anything to do with my thyroid. I've actually had a lot of days where I have been feeling sick. I'm normally not sick at all! I can only explain it by my body is working on these new adjustments and trying to figure out where the new homeostasis is.
I continue to have trouble keeping my temperature up. I think I need to take a second look at my intake and make more of an effort to barf down more calories. I am getting more and more convinced that the suddenly increase in temperature, in the beginning, was due to my period coming up. I know that womens temperature are supposed to be a little higher during that time.
My breast tenderness had just come down a bit but is now in full throttle again! I am also lactating like a pregnant women! -Talk about my body being confused! LOL!

My Britney Spears moment...

My hair loss hasn't gotten any better so today I cut it all off with a hair trimmer. I have about 3cm all over. I have been thinking about it for a while now and finally got the guts to actually do it.  It was a very liberating feeling. I am now done with counting every hair I loose, worrying and trying to cover up the loss. I hate that I am so obsessed with it. Why is that? It's just hair, I keep telling myself. Hopefully this new hairdo will set me free ;-)
I have been having trouble with keeping my temperature up. At one point, it dropped all the way down to 35,5 degrees Celsius :-( I don't know why, other than I possibly have consumed less calories some days.. -Well not drastically, just a little less some days, just to see how my body would react when manipulating with my caloric intake. See how hard it is to escape that bodybuilding-mind of thinking? I just really miss my rock hard body I guess.. 

No more dizzy spells!

Just finished my lunch; Mashed potatoes made with milk, cream and butter and on top some spinach mixed with some milk, cream and cornstarch -YUMMY!
I've been having pretty heavy headaches (worst the weeks up to my period). I had one yesterday too. I seems like the headache is coming from my sinuses because I find relief when I press my fingers around my eyebrows and down the sides of my nose. I've noticed that I've become very sensitive to loud noises and bright light (sometimes I catch myself preparing food in the dark just to avoid turning on the lights). I've also had swollen glands in my neck and my whole thyroid has literally been sore. Things a definitely happening!
I haven't had any dizzy spells for a over a week now, I think. My resting pulse have gone up from 40 bpm to now 60 bpm (must be the reason why I am dizzy-free)! AWESOME! I keep a pretty steady morning temperature on 36,5 but it still drops during the day, which I find very odd?? Shouldn't your temperature actually be higher later on, since your moving around more and also digesting food?
Nothing has changed yet, regarding my hair loss.

Cousin Red!

A quick little note. Hurray, hurray, hurray! I got my period! And it was only a little delayed, 46 days since my last -I know what your thinking; Is that all it takes to get her excited?? Well.... YES! LOL! Normally women curse this time of month but when you have had more male hormone in your body than female ones, and have had periods with sometimes up to 8 months in between, you really welcome your first semi-normal cycle. I have officially been on RRARF (or HED) for 1 month now and it seems like my hormones are loving the calories ;-) I can't wait to see how I go next month. Hmm.. maybe this explains why I have gotten so emotional lately.. -At least that would make crying spontaneously over a CD with Celine Dion, look a lot less insane ;-P
I am so happy because this is just a small sign that my body is welcoming this change. It gives me hope! I now KNOW I am going to be alright!
For a time, I felt like I have giving up, thrown the towel in the ring but when I think about it, I never gave up, I just gave up the fight AGAINST my body. We now are a team.

Think like a butterfly!

Having the end in mind (no I'm not taking about dead you emo;-P) is what pushes me through this twisty road of obstacles. At the moment I'm feeling and looking worse than I did pre-healing.
I know it's the name of the game and reading things like the Schwarzbein Principle keeps me in check. I can't help from thinking, every now and then; What if this isn't going to work? What if this is not going to fix my issues? It's really true what they say, looks are deceiving. I know I have been "looking" very healthy, most of my life but that didn't come close to what was going on inside. Health-fanatics can sometimes be the most unhealthy individuals! All my life, I have been trying to do everything right instead of just EAT THE FOOD!I guess the reason why I find this a little struggling and anxiety provoking, is that I am not just eating the food, I am also doing things literally 180 spin-around! Imagine having lived your whole life a certain way and then doing the exact opposite. It's like learning how to walk. Everything is engraved so deep in my brain, that it takes every bit of me, every day, not to fall back in old patterns and behaviors -more than I had ever imagined. I am starting to see life in a whole other way. Could life be without struggle?? Is that really possible? If so, it requires a whole other way of thinking, than I have done up until now.
I guess doubting is a part of being human so I shouldn't try to deny it. It's how I feel every now and then. Rome didn't get build in a day and I definitely didn't damage my metabolism, hormones and mind in one day, so how can I expect my poor body to fix me at the blink of an eye? I just need to be patient like the caterpillar and think like a butterfly ;-)